But these last few weeks I've had a taste of the chaos of my new role/job - stay at home mom in which my beautiful three year old, with special needs was the main deciding factor in this job change. And although there are certain areas of my life that are more relaxed, there are now new areas of my life that are more chaotic and, honestly, more stressful now that I am home. I'm definitely more exhausted by the end of the day after waking up at 5:45 in the morning and getting two kids ready for school and chasing after a one year old who likes to throw a wrench in my mornings, daily. Then dropping off one, picking her up two and a half hours later. Coming home, doing lunches, naps (hopefully!!) and then rushing out, what feels five minutes later, only to wait in the forever long car rider line to pick my first grader up from school. Then begins our evening, nightly routine. And repeat, Monday-Friday. This my friends, has been a very shocking change for this nine year working mom, school teacher, turned SAHM. (That acronym honestly gets on my nerves. But let's be real, it's easier than typing it all out). I've missed my teacher role, routine and my friends - adult time!! Goodness, I miss that.
Would you like a laugh? Here's a text I sent to friends last Monday. My first "official" day on the job as school started and I was going to start my new groove and routine. It was a day of initiation. God has a wonderful sense of humor. Here's a snip bit of my day.
"God initiated me into this SAHM thing today. Took AB to school and parked forever away and needed to hurry to get LC to pediatrician by 8:30. Got a call from grandmother, while dropping AB off, that Landree's g-button fell out. Rushed home. Had to cancel dr appt. then called surgeon. He said he could squeeze me in at 9:30. Ran up to medical city. They gave Landree a new button and then did an x ray to make sure it took. I'm sweating bullets because I promised AB I'd bring her CFA on her bday. Her lunch was at 11:40. She had nothing to eat so I had to rush. Get done at medical city at 11:00. Rush to CFA, rush to school. Eat lunch with her, come home. And I'm about to get back out to pick AB up early from school so that I can have Landree back up to med city for pediatrician appt at 3:00.
Put. A. Fork. In. Me. I'm done."
I was. Done. I thought to myself, I can't do this madness! I even had an extra set of hands that day to keep Zoe during all of that. But. After later evaluating the day and counting my blessings that the urgent visit to medical city was, in the long run, very minor and nothing serious or life threatening, I could sit back and be thankful that I was home and available for Landree. What in the world would I have done had I been teaching Kindergarten?
It's typically frowned upon for the Kinder teacher to get a sub on the first day of school!! That day was chaos, but I'm lucky it was only minor chaos.
Anyway, last night as I was scrolling through my Instagram feed, I came across this picture.
I read up on it a little in the comments, but to get this mom's full story, I went here: http://www.azfamily.com/clip/11800530/raw-video-mom-who-forgot-her-baby-in-shopping-cart-tells-her-story
Here's the short, this Momma of four was running around like crazy to prepare a surprise for her nephew's birthday and had a deadline. She ran into the store with 3/4 of her children (one being at school) and when she was leaving the store she left her baby in his carrier in the shopping cart. He was found unharmed and safe by an off duty police officer and she realized her terrible mistake 40 minutes after she left. She has her baby back, but now she's being publically scrutinized for this really sad mistake.
Three things came to mind when I read this. 1) What?? How could she leave her baby?? 2) Her children are almost the exact same ages as mine. Except my infant is still growing in my belly. 3) My chaotic day last Monday.
This could've easily been me.
Do I think I'd ever leave any of my children in a shopping cart and drive way? Absolutely not. But I'm sure this mother thought the exact same thing. Her kids at six, three, one and an infant, almost like me - six, three, and one year old (infant in belly). Could I ever make the same mistake as her? I'm sure. I'm human. No superpowers here. I mean, I don't think I ever will. But goodness. Think back to my day last week. What if I did have Zoe with me and this baby in my belly was already here. I was frantic, you guys, frantic to get AB her lunch and back up to school by lunchtime. This poor mom was frantic, too. It's a very humbling thought.
I think back to when I was a new mom to two. Landree was in the NICU 30 days past her due date. So I didn't immediately begin my routine with two as soon as I had thought. In fact, I got used to having two children and one of them living elsewhere. Because when you a baby in the NICU for an extended period of time, that's exactly what it feels like. However, when she did come home, I remember my first careless mistake as a mom of two. We were getting ready to run an errand. Just my oldest, the new baby and myself. I get them dressed, baby in her carrier and two year old in the car. I get in the drivers seat after buckling in my oldest, close the door, start the car, and then my two year old yells at me, "Mommy!! You forgot Landree!!!" I whip around look in her seat and sure enough, it was empty. I ran in the house and there she was, safely buckled in her carrier in the kitchen safe and sound and asleep. Just like this mom, my baby was a very good one. Rarely made a peep. But more importantly, there's a very, very important factor here that you have to consider -- routine.
Us moms, we need that. Have. To. Have. It.
I hadn't gotten into a routine with this new baby yet. It's no wonder I was falling into the habits of my old routine which was putting my ONE child in the car and I was ready to go. Thank goodness for that oldest child of mine that reminded me. I don't think I would've made it past the driveway without remembering, but I don't know that for sure.
If you listen to her interview, there were a couple of things about her routine that were thrown off. One of those being the order of which she puts her kids in the car. She threw off that order and it threw off her brain. Which caused her to just forget.
Is that an excuse? Ummm. That's really not for you nor I to judge or decide. Who are we? No one! We have no clout or God-like superiority that would give us ANY type of say-so or judgement. I just don't understand the audacity of those who think they do.
This mom made a very scary and sad mistake. She's sorry. She didn't mean to. Goodness, as parents we have close calls all the time! Can you imagine if the media got a hold of our close calls? We'd be the center of scrutiny all the time like this mom. There are so many things I use to judge and say "I would never do", that I've made mistakes and have done. Have I ever left a kid in a shopping cart and driven away? No, but I could, I guess. I'm not above it all to think that I could never make the same mistake. I pray I don't! I can't imagine the fear and guilt she is feeling.
There's no drugs, alcohol or any kind of recreational drugs that play into this. If that was the case then you have to go to irresponsible parenting based on poor and selfish choices. Even then, we are not the judges of them or their choices. At that point we pray for the children who are now victims and pray they have a safe place to go to. This is a simple case of forgetfulness and a mistake. An unfortunate mistake.
Have some grace, friends. God extends that to us day by day and we are supposed to live in His image. What a poor example to judge and "be above it all." We're above nothing. Being a mom doesn't automatically make us experts and free of mistakes. Even so as moms, our brains are probably more capable of these type things because of the overload our brains are on.
I'm thankful for a God who forgives and extends His grace to me. Goodness knows, I need it. And so does this mom.
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