Acceptance

As a teacher, the month of April is extremely important as we recognize National Autism Month. My heart can't help but be happy when I see all of the support and advocating for Autism.  I work with all kinds of students, but my heart bursts with joy and happiness when I'm around my students who have been diagnosed with Autism. I saw a post on Facebook last month supporting Autism, that said, "Accept the Different." Yes! Love it. That word makes all the, well, the difference.

Acceptance.

I can't help think about my own little Landree. She doesn't have Autism, but was born with a very rare genetic disorder that causes her many physical developmental delays in the early parts of childhood. Some of these delays include, being nearly two years old and can only sit up. And even that, if a strong wind comes along - forget it! She has speech delays and a feeding tube, due to aspiration from poor muscle tone. She has some definite limitations and I struggle to watch her as she is so "different" from other kids her age. What does this have to do with Autism? The answer is acceptance. Accepting the different.

Being a teacher over the last eight years, I've watched as parents struggle to accept news given by myself, doctors or other teachers. It's hard when you hear your child has a learning disability. Or a parent finds out their child is on the spectrum. Before I had Landree, I used to say, "I totally understand how you're feeling." Umm...no I didn't. In no way am I meaning to sound self-righteous, but there's no way you can understand and sympathize with a parent going through some sort of diagnosis of their child, unless you've been there. The same way I can look at my hurting best friend who's going through a painful divorce and say, "I understand your pain." No I don't. Or when one of my sweet co-workers/friends who just lost her baby in utero, just weeks before her due date, "I understand." No, I don't. The same way a parent who doesn't have a child with special needs can't understand what a parent who does have a child with special needs is going through.

There's nothing wrong with not understanding. I don't feel like I need anyone to understand. I just want someone to accept. Please. Accept my child for who she is. Accept that she is developmentally delayed. Accept that she can't communicate with you except through her {simply amazing} smile...and sometimes temper tantrums. Hey, she's two. But know that's just who she is right now.

If I could sit here and list the people in our lives who have embraced, loved and ACCEPTED Landree for who she is, I would. However, I would probably leave someone out and then I'd feel bad. One of the things, as a mom to Landree, that is hard for me to hear is when someone says, "I just don't know how you do it."You can go on ahead and {insert a blank stare here}. Really? Don't know how I do what? Love my child?? Care for my child? Be there for my child? So, you're telling me you wouldn't do the same thing?!? Of course you would.

Having a child with special needs isn't what was anticipated. It's not "normal." But you adjust, adapt and learn to have a new way of life with the sweet gift you've been given.

Do I need acceptance from my friends? No. Do I need acceptance from family? No. Do I need acceptance from perfect strangers? No! I need the acceptance from Christ. I need to know that I'm accepted by Him, because I'm raising my child according to His plan. I want to be faithful. I want to do as much right as I can, through His eyes. Who am I in Christ? Who is my child in Christ? That is what is most important. That being said, I'd still like to see the acceptance from others. I don't need it, but I still want it. The best thing you can do for a parent with a child of special needs is accept. "Accept the different." Accept it, embrace it, and move on with it.

There is no shame in different. There is no shame in being outside the "norm." Although, the longer I live...I sometimes try and be different than the "norm." It's more disappointing than rewarding in our society. The different can be a beautiful thing. And it is a beautiful thing to a parent of that child. One of my biggest heartaches as an educator is to watch other parents talk about, look differently upon, or act differently towards anothers' child. How would you feel? What if someone said something about your baby? What if someone treated your baby differently? Ruly or unruly. Sweet or defiant. Whatever the child may be, they are here on this earth intentionally, and we are called to love every soul that we come in contact with. It's not always easy, and I do not claim to be holy on this topic. I've done my fair share of moaning and groaning in the past over things like that. But I am more aware and conscience now. Just think about it.

Whether it be Autism, a rare genetic condition or syndrome, a common syndrome, a birth defect, a muscular condition, ADD/ADHD...whatever it maybe, accept. Accept the different.

I leave you with this, a wonderful verse to live by, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you are to love one another." John 13: 34. Break that verse apart. Apply it in your own life. Apply it to others who are difficult to love. Like it or not, that's what we're called to do.